Wednesday, December 31, 2014

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S !!!


So... .these trick taxi drivers are in business tonight.... so you may wanna call them before you make a $18,000 boo boo. 865-384-7589


Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Wrestling Quiz and News

WHICH EAST TENNESSEE WRESTLER ARE YOU

 
Here's a fun little online quiz where you can only win if you get Funkmaster V. See if you can!!!!
 
 
Description:
East Tennessee is home to some of the most diverse and talented wrestlers in the country. What sets them apart is their unique personalities. Take this quiz to see which East Tennessee wrestler you relate the most with.
 
 

FUNKMASTER V TO BE ON "BLUES ON THE ROAD"

November 24th, Funkmaster V will be on Dan "The Rocket" DeSalvo's segment on the show "Blues on the Road" airing out of Whitley City KY. It will be on the air around 7PM.
 
"But you is a man of Funk?" You may ask. It all started with my love of the blues and the movie Crossroads. Is there anything more badass than an old bluesman breaking out of prison to take a gullible kid to Mississippi to find a lost blues song........ which leads into "Cuttin' Heads" with the DEVIL? I THINK NOT!!! Anyways, you can listen here...

 
 

FUNKMASTER LOSES IN 3 WAY

(Sounds hotter than it is)
 
At ETCW this last weekend I failed in my charge at regaining my ETCW Heavyweight Championship that I never lost in the first place. My opponents were Pain and another Irishman Mick O'Malley. There were so many Irishmen at the show I'm surprised this ole Italian wasn't stabbed with a shiv. Anyways, here is the news article on that.
 
A local wrestling federation crowned a new champion, a noted heel got his comeuppance, and area police raised funds for a good cause Saturday at the second annual Shop with a Cop Fundraising Wrestling Show.

 

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Funkmaster V Returns to the Front Page

The Daily Times write up about ETCW on the 15th using mine and Big Luke Walker's sexy visages to draw in the females in heat.
http://www.thedailytimes.com/…/article_fe90d5e9-3800-5fe6-b…
The wrestling debut of Alcoa High School’s Brian Nix was looking strong last year when his partner, a menacing masked man known as The Enforcer, knocked an opponent cold in the center of the ring and tagged Nix, signaling the football team’s defensive coordinator to enter the ring and take the pin.
thedailytimes.com

Friday, October 31, 2014

New Commercial Version 1.1/ Saturday's Match


I had to redo the commercial for TV. I think it's better because I'm punching Brad Cash in the FACE!!! Only Taxi commercial in history that shows the owner committing violence. #BookUptownCabs




If you have ever woken up and realized you were in a tag team, you have probably wrestled Shawn Killebrew Streets of Street Dreamz. The guy is a phenomenal tag team wrestler. In fact, I believe the largest indoor crowd I have ever wrestled in front of was during the TXW vs. SAW war. Detroit Funk City represented TXW, and Street Dreamz represented SAW. It was the most surreal match of my career. There were no good guys or bad guys. Hundreds of TXW fans chanted "TXW" as hundreds of SAW fans chanted "SAW". It went back and forth the whole match. The home crowd didn't appreciate the fact that the Demon and myself won the match... and when somebody from the TXW group smacked a hat off of a fan, the place was torn apart. I was asked to leave quickly, and as I left the parking lot, 3-4 people were chasing my car. This Saturday...for the first time ever,Funkmaster V takes on Shawn Streets in singles competition. It's time to get the crowd in a lynching mode one more time at EGO PRO WRESTLING in Athens

Thursday, October 23, 2014

New Commercial, Dig It?


A new commercial for EVERYONE TO SEE (If you watch crappy cable in Knoxville, that is)


Tuesday, October 7, 2014

EGO PRO Show Saturday...New DVD

ANGER RISING DVD SERIES DEBUTS
"Funk Fever"
The Story Behind Dwayne Windham and Funkmaster V

What can I say? This is a privilege being included in the first DVD of this series. From what I have seen so far (30 Seconds) I laughed out loud. Here is a clip:


Here's what I've heard about who and what is on this. Some great East Tennessee wrestling nostalgia from back in the hey day of TXW. 


1) Pimp Cup Match
Dwayne vs. Funk

2) Beth O Funk vs. Dr. Cancer

3) Record Breaking Match
Dwayne vs. Funk

3) Youtube TV Title Match
Dwayne vs. Dr. Cancer

4) Loser Eats Dog Food
Dwayne vs. Funk

5) Chain on a Pole
Dwayne vs. Funk

6) EGO PRO- Last DFC Match
Belt vs. Mask vs. Fro vs. Dress
Demon & Funkmaster V vs. Shane Daniels & Dwayne Windham

7) Funkmaster V Return match
Open Youtube TV Title Match
Dwayne vs. Funk w/ Sassy Frass

Plus Match clips from:
Spoony Mack vs. Funkmaster V
Barry Allen vs. Dwayne Windham
Detroit Funk City & Beth O Funk vs. The Gathering & Monroe Fayte
Chris Cameron vs. Dwayne Windham
Demon, Funkmaster V, and Dwayne Windham vs. Chris Cameron, Nick Taylor, Tsunami Kid
Team FUNK vs. Team PUNK 
Plus Commentary from Valdean Pouncie, Jay Perkey, Wally Miles, David Pillman, Gene Rosario, Violet Adams, and Dave Jones!

Plus:
Dwayne Windham- DDR King
Clips from TXW Main Event TV
Dwayne Windham as Funkmaster V's valet


From the EGO PRO's Facebook Page and BARRY ALLEN:


"This....This right here.
you should go.
Trust me.
The road to the tenth anniversary starts at this show. I know....it's a year away. There are some nice little surprises lined up - plus we're basically letting you guys suggest matches you want to see.....so head over, rsvp and leave a note telling us who you wanna see wrestle."

Monday, September 29, 2014

Monday Mornin' Video Madness

Some Funkmaster V fans pine for the days of when I posted slick looking video's of me calling out the Buggy Boy for scratching my car, shooting Dwayne Windham out of a cannon, training on the mountain with the Funky Monk, but this weekend I'm cheesed off. Here are two videos, one about wrestling one about politics, where I start to lose me cool. Sorry children, no lights and music, just uncut FUNK.
Warning to Luke Walker's Silly Azz

 
My Thoughts of Latte Salutes, Boobs on the Ground, and Fox News


Friday, September 19, 2014

EGO PRO 9th ANNIVERSARY WEEKEND!!!


Last year the EGO PRO Anniversary weekend was HUGE. On Friday, Detroit Funk City Rolled out of a Funkmaster V's Uptown Cabs of RenownTaxi, hit the bricks and The Demon, Dwayne Windham, and Funkmaster Vtook out Brad CashSteven Cadillac Burns, and Tsunami Kid with the ole WEAVER LOCK for a win for the good guys. Even Scott Hall (Yes that Scott Hall) said the match was awesome. On Saturday, I defended the EGO PRO belt against Evan Turner in a match that created two monsters: Evan Turner and God's Will. And that's just my sorry azz. Come out to the Athens Armory tonight and tomorrow to see yuk yuks with actual talent!!!


Saturday night at EGO PRO's big 9th Anniversary show I gotta take on the head case BigLuke Walker. He now apparently doesn't believe he's a Funkmaster (thank god), but he's apparently got to bring in notes to help him wrestle. Dear God help me...





Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Upcoming Dates, Brain Droppings and a Classic Funkmaster Match

After having the ETCW Heavyweight Championship stripped from me last month, it reminded me of how most of my title runs come to an end. I held the East Tennessee/  TXW Youtube TV Title 4 times, and only losing it because of a match decision once, and last year I lost the EGO PRO Heavyweight Championship through nefarious means. Such is the life of a pro wrestler. EGO PRO and Galaxy Media has recently released my title bout with Evan Turner last year... so funk fans- Enjoy!


Also, stayed tuned this month as I take on the seemingly perpetual thorn in my side Big Luke Walker as God's Will tries to get under my skin at EGO PRO- Athens TN September 20th for their 9th Anniversary Weekend, and ETCW at Alcoa Middle School September 27th at 7PM. Here are a few thoughts of my upcoming match with Luke Walker at EGO PRO.


Friday, August 29, 2014

The Loss of Fans

A good person and a loyal wrestling fan Jason Zuehlke has passed away unexpectedly today. I saw him last week when I officiated the wedding of his friends. He was very polite, and was a good soul. He and his friend Gary were big Funkmaster fans and I appreciate the support they gave me through the years. Gary also passed away recently in Kansas. 



Gary and Jason were great wrestling fans, and the first to really "Believe in the Funk." They were close friends. Here is a clip of Gary calling into the TXW Talk show and pushing the show like he used to do. I think Jason was too bashful to call very often- but he did occasionally. I always appreciated the energy they gave back. We as wrestlers downplay the importance of what fans can give you. They will be missed in the wrestling world and more importantly in their circle of family and friends. 


Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Libertarian of Funk Time

Libertarian of Funk Time: My first job in radio was in 1995 working for an ultra conservative whack job radio station that stated Rush Limbaugh was too liberal to be on the station (he would also want too much money). Point is, I remember conservatives always warning us about Big, Tyrannical government that will act like the Nazis and take away our freedom. After all of these videos of police departments with tanks, grenade launchers, and dressed in Riot gear constantly, mistreating the media and public... where are you now? I listened to Sean Hannity yesterday... he was chastising the public for reacting the way they were and making excuse after excuse for the out of control police and their inexcusable behavior. You poor people that vote Republican, (poor meaning you make less than 200K a year) do you not care that you are being played for fools? I have been on this earth for 40 years... I know one thing is True! The Republican party cares nothing about freedom, justice, Jesus, or doing what is right.... THEY CARE ABOUT MONEY- THAT IS ALL.



Wake up, little sheep.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

NO DQ Tussle for the Title

Here we go again, August 16th at ETCW- Funkmaster V will face Big Luke Walker for the third straight time with that Title on the Line, daddy!!! Wait that is what he says... Because of how the match ended last time, this one will be a Non DQ match... right op the Funk-Man's alley. (This Funk-Man's.... not Luke). That's right- Luke has been hit in the head, now thinks HE is my replacement on Earth named Funkmaster VI, and now talks to an invisible something named TOOFY. Here's some video (a Dance Off- a Match- and a Doctored Illegal Interception of a Intergalactic Space Transmission) to catch you up on the craziness.


 
August 16th 2014
ETCW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
209 E Franklin St, Alcoa, Tennessee 37701

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

East Tennessee Youtube TV Title History & Wrestling Recap

I had a very difficult weekend in several different ways, but through it all I went 2-0 against the Cadillac Cowboy in two title matches... so things weren't too bad considering how tough of a competitor Burns is becoming. Night one, the referee found several items considered foreign objects on my person that someone had to have planted on me before the match even started. In the beginning, Caddy got the better of me, but I resorted to my street smartz to pull out the 1-2-3 and retain the ETCW Heavyweight Championship at the ETCW Blue Line Ministries show. There was a nice big crowd... I healed someone of being unfunky- hopefully someone went home and listened to Morris Day and the Time.

 
THE CHAMP IS HERE... TIME TO RIDE THE FUNK TRAIN FOOLZ!!!

Night two had a different flavor. I fired God's Will at EGO PRO before the last Youtube TV Title Match. I don't like people who lie and steal in the name of God, but even worse... my win-loss record has been awful under his guidance. Even though it wasn't smart to fire him BEFORE the match- because he got a couple of cheap shots in during. That might have been our best match to date, and the ole Funk got the 1-2-3 in the end in the last Youtube TV Title Match of all time. Making me the eternal champion... that's some Highlander type shee there. I don't care who you are- two pinfall wins in a row over Steven Burns in the same weekend is tough as Hell and I was worn out and did nothing but sleep for two days afterwards. He seems to get better and better.

Well... who is that strapping man that won them beltz?


THE HISTORY OF THE YOUTUBE TV TITLE


Ahhhhhhhhh.... the Youtube TV Title is retired. I remember when that was created by us at TXW. It was supposed to be reminiscent of the old TV Titles from the 80's. TV Title matches were big deals because most wrestling TV shows featured lop sided affairs where an organization's top talent would mostly defeat unranked beginners and grizzly ham n' eggers to fill up air time... but the TV Title match was different. It ensured the viewer to see a close bout between two competitive wrestlers, complete with a 10 minute time limit... or TV time remaining. The Youtube TV title originally had a strict 10 minute time limit b/c at that point in 2008, most Youtube users could not load videos longer than 10 minutes... so there was a perfect excuse for the time limit that could stir up nostalgia. Originally, every match was going to be uploaded. The problem was, back in the TXW infancy, most of the matches had bad camera work, and poor lighting. So THAT idea was scrapped.

Arn Anderson is one of the most infamous Television Champions in the History of the Sport


The first two TXW Youtube TV Title matches were between Bob O Mac, Funkmaster V, and Juggalo Drake... who we now know as Maskerade. The first bout was at the Halloween show, which the fans spun the WHEEL OF DEATH to determine that that match would be an I quit match. It went ten minutes, the commissioner came out and added time so there would be a first time champ. I put Bob in the Funky Figure Four, Maskerade put me in some weird nerve hold from hell... you guessed it... I quit. The match was so popular we did a return match the next show. After giving Bob's wife, Beth O Mac, a "Sweatin' to the Oldies" VHS tape... a gift she did not appear to enjoy, the three of us put on a better match, one where I thought I won. I covered Maskerade as he pinned Bob... but the ref ruled that I just laid on top of Maskerade pinning Bob O Mac... meaning Maskerade won again. Ah well... he sucks for that... but the reign of the Juggalo didn't last long. (What the hell is a Juggalo anywayz... like a crazed chicken, or something?)

Juggalo Drake started the belt's legacy off on the right foot with a couple of good matches and wins.


After that, Billy Marshall joined the tag team Ruff Cutt and they started rolling through TXW by winning the Tag Belts from the Blassie Twins and the Youtube TV Title from Juggalo Drake/ Maskerade. I tried to join Ruff Cutt, which they refused (who is sorry now? huh? huh?) But I successfully purchased the belt from Billy Marshall who let me pin him in the ring after a successful negotiation and cash exchange. Billy then went on to win the TXW Heavyweight belt, and Ruff Cutt (and friends) had all of the belts and we cheated our way to success for months. During that time, it was also believed that whoever was the Youtube champ was the host of the new TXW TV show: TXW Main Event.... but that was just an interesting coincidence. Then David Branson, the commissioner... stopped in to ruin the fun. David Branson stripped us of the belts and made the infamous Scramble for the Gold match. Four briefcases, with three titles and a booby prize inside. The booby prize was 89% less sexy than it sounds... it was a pink slip. These Four Briefcases dangled above the ring as 12 combatants vied for the TXW prizes. The only one of us that snagged a briefcase from the group was Billy, who nabbed the pink slip and was immediately fired. The Youtube TV title went to Demetryia as he/she nabbed a briefcase... but the prize I snagged that evening was Bob O Mac's wife... Beth O Mac... who later was known as Beth O Funk, but that's another story for another time.




Coast to Coast Chris Cameron
Chris Cameron defeated Demetryia for the belt, who then had a nifty run as champ... exposing young TXW Training graduate Dwayne Windham as a Dance Dance Revolution junkie. The embarrassment had Dwayne Windham locked on Cameron... and during this time the stable of Detroit Funk City was formed... who eventually helped Windham get over the hump and change the belt history forever.  The strap was actually dropped to Windham in a 6 man tag featuring Demon, Dwayne and myself vs. Cameron, Nick Taylor and the Tsunami Kid. This would be an infamous title change.


Dwayne's leg lariat on champion Chris Cameron


Dwayne was the first 2-time Champion
Dwayne Windham became the longest reigning Youtube TV Title champion at that point having nearly 20 title defenses. He defended the belt at the new TXW TV tapings, sometimes defending the belt up to four times a day! Dwayne was always a step ahead of the competition, weaseling his way out of matches, utilizing the time limit draws, and bending the rules to keep the belt and that champion's pay check coming in. He got lucky a time or two, once even dropping the belt to Bob O Mac at a regional event at an independent promotion, but later having that decision reversed and the title returned to Windham since the proper paperwork was not completed.



Barry Allen as Barmala, a Kamala tribute
But all good things (or bad) must come to an end. One Autumn day, Dwayne ran into a popular buzzsaw one night at the Tipton building... a man known as Barry Allen. Barry Allen, who may or may not be certifiably insane, who called himself the "Lon Chaney of Pro Wrestling", came out to the ring as oversized impersonations of famous wrestlers. At times known as "Barmala", "Rowdy Roddy Barry", "The Heartbreak Kid Barry Michaels"... or whatever he chose, he toppled opponents with ease. Unfortunately for Dwayne, Barry came out as the "Immortal Barry Hogan"... and one legdrop later... the longest title reign in TXW history was slammed kaput.



Bobby with the Pink Version
Donovan.... happy?
Throughout the following months, TXW went into turmoil. Attacks on referee Mac Macmurray and the TXW vs. SAW war shook up the roster amidst a chaotic backdrop. Barry eventually dropped the belt to tag team veteran Bobby Rayne. Bobby, whose favorite color is definitely pink, defiled the strap and changed the color of the belt to pink and silver. In one memorable bout, Bobby scored a win for TXW in the TXW vs. SAW war as he retained his belt during a lumberjack match vs. Trooper T. Later champions were Donovan Daniels, who upped his internet presence by posting random videos on Youtube with the belt, popular kick-crazy wrestler Spoony Mack, and a dark period where AJ Gann had the title. Yuck! Eventually Dwayne Windham won the title to become the first two time champion of the belt.



Spoony Mack defeats Donovan amongst a sea of fans

I had been away from TXW for months- collateral damage from the fallout from the TXW vs. SAW war. When the company was going through a management change I was called in to hopefully help boost the attendance. The title was put up between me and Dwayne Windham... the two longest reigning Youtube TV Title holders at that time. I debuted with my sexy burlesque dancer/ manager Sassy Frass, and actually had a clean match with Windham and scored the 1-2-3 after a successful Sunset Flip. I defended the belt against Maskerade, the original champ... scored another quick pinfall win and then the powers that be decided that they would have shorter shows and the belt was eliminated. Shortly thereafter, I resigned once again from TXW.



Old friends become enemies
The belt was given to me by the Tiptons and Billy Marshall as a token of appreciation for a lot of the backstage work I did for the company. From there I took the belt on the road. I defended it at TPW, ERA, TWA, GSCW, and other groups I can not recall at this hour, but it found a home at EGO PRO. Along the way, the name of the belt changed to the East Tennessee Youtube TV Title. It became a mainstay at EGO PRO, and some people called it the EGO PRO Youtube TV Title, although it was never officially changed to that. Interestingly to me at least, I had the belt for over 400 days, at the same time CM Punk was WWE champion for about that long. But one day, I got a little too big for my bell-bottom britches and dropped the title to Conner Cruze. This was the first and only time I had ever lost the title in a match. At this point, wrestling villains started to understand that my Figure Four was painful, it won me several matches, but it was also slow to end the match and gave time for interference. I needed a quicker way to win. After visiting a Monk on a hilltop, I came up with the Red Fist of Funk. A flaming fist drop that would not only hurt like a haymaker but it would burn my victim as well. I climbed back up the ranks with it, and won the title back from Conner in the only First Blood Match of my career. This was the only match that I ever did a tombstone piledriver... on a chair... Oh.... that will open a brother's forehead up fo' sho'!!!



In a weird twist of fate, I also won the EGO PRO Championship that night as well, and Mac Macmurray- who ALWAYS seems to screw me even though I like him for some reason, stripped me of the Youtube TV title. EGO PRO then decided to put on a HUGE tournament for the vacated title, and the winner of the tournament would win that belt and the Mid South TV Title... absorbing both histories. Many came and entered the tourney which featured multiple 4 man matches over several months to whittle down the contenders down. The finals included... Oreo, Bob O Mac, Black Diamond, and Issac Cain. Issac Cain did not show up to the fight, so a replacement was added.... a young up and coming star with tons of charisma.... A former TPW, TWA, and EGO PRO Heavyweight Champion: "The Cadillac Cowboy" Steven Burns.



Steven defended that title for over 3/4 of a year, with the help of his little buddy Daddy Mack. Steven often threw out open challenges to anyone that could take the strap off of him, but no one was successful. Until.... ahem... *cough* *cough*... a man of Funk came back into town, looking for a little silver to steal.

Cruiserweights did well with this belt. Billy seemed like he weighed more than 220, but that scale always said 140.


So there you have it, a very brief history of that title. Several wrestlers in the area wanted to earn a spot as champion of that belt and failed, and the history of that title featured champions with long runs who went on to be wrestling heroes. It was talked about region wide, possibly influencing the WWE Internet title's creation, written up about in Pro Wrestling Illustrated, and was one of the few belts ever to start at one independent company and end at an unrelated company. Plus, it has absorbed the EGO PRO Mid-South TV Title... which had an impressive history of its own, featuring title runs from the late Nino Sparkz, Bob O Mac, and many others. Now............... its resides with my other trophies forever......... ON DA MOTHERSHIP!

The Funkmaster Family Wins Crap


PS: If you read all of this article... congrats. You are now an official member of the KISS Army.



Friday, June 27, 2014

Nino Sparkz Benefit Show Will be HUGE


80 wrestlers from EGO PRO, Original TXW, FTW, SAW, TWA, ETCW, Tennessee, Georgia, Kentucky, North Carolina will be in one spot tomorrow night- ATHENS, TENNESSEE, to honor the life of Nino Sparkz. Every dime goes to his son's education fund. The original EGO PRO Tag Team Champions- Detroit Funk City rides once again as Billy Marshallcomes of out retirement to help Funkmaster V win the Tag Team Classic.Bill Smith (Willie B Badd) from DRI comes out of retirement. Wally Miles(Jagger Sterling) come sout of retirement. Derek Parton in an EGO PRO Ring. The Tate Twins... Brad CashMenace WrestlerD'andre Jaxson, Money Shot Mafia, Street Dreamz, Demitrya KrystBigLuke WalkerEric Adamz is back, Justin O'Day is back, Tyler ThomasThe Young Bloodz, The Saints, High Risk Impact, OG DFC members- Dwayne Windham, &Shane Daniels will be there, Rachel Byrd (Brittany Foxx), the return of Matt Vice and dozens more. If you love Nino, or wrestling.... there's no other place to be Saturday Night in the Mid-South. 
The Original Detroit Funk City
Funkmaster V - The Demon - Beth O Funk - Shane Daniels - Dwayne Windham