Thursday, April 26, 2012

Kid Loses Opportunity of a Lifetime


Looks like we gotz'em on the run! Since the last update, several wonderful things have taken place in my life. Including successfully defending the East Tennessee Youtube TV Title against all comers.... including the audience members of KAPOW wrestling. I took out Griffin and Tyler with my wizardry at basketballin'. This Saturday, I gotz a contest for the girls.

At EGO-PRO, Tsunami, Sassy Frass and I have fended off the Village people, aka Daddy Mack's Family, so far. I am undefeated this year, and I still have the Youtube TV Title. It has been a big ole challenge, though... I defeated a ghost at IWF, made my old rival Bob O Mac tap out at Pro Wrestling All-Stars, defeated the Money Shot Mafia's Ricky Valentine at KAPOW and Hollywood Kid at Great South Championship Wrestling, tagged with Black Tiger, slapped a man's lazy eye straight and pinned a coboy and an Indian.

Hell, this month I even hosted Sassy Frass's burlesque troop: White Lightnin' Burlesque's come back show. Man, I gotz the life. I have EGO-PRO in Etowah on Friday and KAPOW in Maryville on Saturday. Check us out! We got tons of new videos to make you happy! Oh yeah! How could I forget? Leave it to the Captain of the Funk Train to discover another beautiful young, supple, fembot that will rock the East Tennessee wrestling scene. Stay tuned for more details.

EGO PRO Friday May 25th 7PM
East Tennessee Youtube TV Title Match
Funkmaster V vs. Iron Bear
Etowah TN

KAPOW May 26th 7PM
East Tennessee Youtube TV Title Match
Funkmaster V vs. ????
Alynwick Community Center - MARYVILLE, TN

The amazing photographer, JE May, compiled this really cool poster of mostly past TXW talent and printed it off for a TXW benefit show. TXW raffled it off for a great cause at K-Mart this past weekend... I believe it was the March of Dimes, which we all know is the smallest and most intimidated of all U.S. change. Two things strike me as odd here. One is that my huge ethereal face is floating in the top left corner, everyone knows I'm not as sexy as the Demon. Secondly, I find it odd that in about six months, that at least 60% to 70% (too late to do math) of the people on this poster have severed ties with TXW for one reason or another. And all reasons are not good. Kinda funny to me... if we were all disposable and easily cast aside, why would we be included on a poster that was created to sell. It's kind of like the New York Jets coming up with a poster of all the guys they cut in the last year and they expect them to sell like hotcakes. Or is it? Oh well... wrestling is weird.

I know 6 guys canceled their last Christenberry show, I heard 5 guys no showed the K-Mart show this last weekend... Expect this trend to continue when the family is busted apart and you try to book a show full of guys who don't give a shit about TXW. One day, you will wonder where all of the "catch myself on fire, lose to a girl, wear a dress, job to spot talent, bleed out my face, set the ring up, clean out the back room, code the website, kiss a drag queen, build a stage ramp, take a tiny pay out, eat dog food" guys are and they won't be around. You've taken something special and turned it into a business. Now, get your own floating faces for your poster because I don't want my fans showing up to expect me to be there. Right now I'm turning down bookings, thanks.