Saturday, February 21, 2009

First Chump List of 2009

Believe in the Funk!

Now, there comes a time in your life when you can sit back and laugh outloud at some fool that you made look like a big dummy in front of a radio personality, tons of kids, and a man in a bee suit. That stupid Juggalo Drake is a waste of roster space, and I can't wait for me and Demetria to send him straight out the door on Feb 28th. I don't know Demetria too well, but I'm sure I can swindle, I mean influence him/her to join up with me to pounce him on his head a few times. I'm sure Demetria will let me win the match, too... since he/she was appreciative of the balloon animal hoax we pulled on Juggalo Drake.

Also, tonight I will win those awesome looking ECB Tag Team Championship as I replace Ryan Luther to tag alongside ECB co-owner Bobby Rayne. I'll help the big fella win those back and make Bob O Mac look like a schmuck at the same time. 

Current Chump List

1) Bob O Mac
This guy always underestimates me, and out of 6 matches with him, he has only beat me once. Talk about a chump: my last match with him ended with the ref ending the match with him in the Figure Four. HA HA HA. I LOVE IT. His wife still loves me too.

2) Jerry Lee
What's this guy's deal with this guy getting paid to chop people? My last match with him ended with me getting chopped 31 times! Why pay him? Pay me! I have to go back to the Mothership and explain to Funkmaster J what happened. Believe me, that's worse than 31 Jerry Lee chops.

3) Buggy Boy
My car got scratched bad this Christmas AGAIN! Why do people cheer this jerk? I know he did it! At least within 70-80 percent...

4) Tyson Daly
This talking cigarette never should have pinned me.... it was a fluke. I'm glad I broke him in half and sprinkled him to the audience in our last match. Should have prayed harder, Preacher Creatures! The Funk Power trumped Dancing Sticks and noone ever has to watch that nastiness split in the ring again.

5) Juggalo Drake
Normally, I can appreciate a lazy oppurtunist like this guy, but something about the facepaint, greasy hair, bad breath, and his very short Youtube TV title reign bothers me about this guy. Sad Clowns... boo hoo.... well, at least I tried to cheer him up with some lame balloon animals last time. He got what he deserved.

From the TXW website, an announcement from me:

Bob O Mac, eat it up! These are the SUPER HOT PICS OF ME AND YOUR WIFE!!! I paid the TXW Staff CASH to get these to go up on a general website because THEY ARE SO SEXY PEOPLE MAY LEAVE THEIR HUSBANDS FOR ME!!! WOOOOO!!! FEEL THE JEALOUSY!!!!

Elicit Photos of the TRUE Nature of Funkmaster V and the Lovely Beth's Relationship!