Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Funkmaster V on Snapped!

Attention Funk Nation! Funkmaster V will be on world wide TV Sunday. I play Phil Hartman's make-up artist on Brynn Hartman's episode of Snapped. This will be airing at 9PM on the Oxygen channel, Sunday, January 3rd.

On a personal note, it was neat to be involved with something that has to do with Phil Hartman. He was an enigmatic guy: artist, comedian, and was a good straight man, which is hard to do in comedy. In my opinion he was the SNL glue for all of the Farley, Sandler, Spade years. Taken from us way too soon. Watch this sheee

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Street Fighter vs. Mortal Kombat

As I was scrolling through Facebook today, I saw a post that grabbed my attention: MORTAL KOMBAT > STREET FIGHTER!!! NOT EVEN CLOSE!!!

Well.... I could not let this slide by. You see, I am old enough to remember the arcades back when you went to arcades to play the best video games anywhere... not to play 5 second games that suck, to redeem tickets for toys you don't need, and then they broke in the car on the way home. I once proudly stood at Aladdin's Castle at East Towne Mall and defeated a gigantic line of people... I went 52-0 on one quarter, before I had to go. I was never beaten that day. The plus side to this was that people could not understand what was happening... I was beating everyone with the Russian wrestler, Zangief.

You see, I knew something then that most of the kung-fu watching public did not know at that time. Grappling was superior to Striking. This was also in the days before the UFC became redneck religion. I was a green belt judoka around Street Fighter 2's hey day. I was recently thrown out of the state championship for "trying to break a kid's neck" (which was an excellent back story to add to my career bio in pro wrestling later on). I was a judo badass. I beat grown men and kids my age alike. I once won a tournament in less than a minute.

I also did very well in "free-sparring" at that time. "Free-sparring" pitted people of different disciplines against each other in a very controlled match. No blood and gurgling like you see in the UFC, but a lot of stoppages. I seemed to always surprise these skinny kids after they missed with a beautiful crescent kick and shot in to take them to the ground with a delicious double leg takedown. They would freeze like a small animal and just look at me as I squeezed their rib cage to the point where they could not breathe or speak. Big, dead, clueless puppy eyes staring into mine. I found this fun.

So for me, Street Fighter was the first time I could prove to people outside of the martial arts world this principle. I could take a slow ass, dumb Russian, absorb your kick to my face, and then piledrive your head into the cement and KO your neckbone. I was a big believer in grappling arts, so I enjoyed this opportunity immensely. I wasn't great at Street Fighter 2 at first. I loved Zangief, the game's pro wrestling-grappler, but he was very hard to figure out how to use. I cut my teeth on the game at the coolest place in the neighborhood: the Himlin's basement. David, my best friend in the neighborhood, kicked my can regularly with Guile about 90% of the time. His brother, Adam, was good with several players, and he normally kicked my ass with Chun Li, Vega, or Ryu. But, I wasn't hapless, I generally beat the other kids in the neighborhood regularly who used E. Honda, Ken, Balrog and the rest. This trial by fire would make me a battle-hardened vet, but I was too competitive for my own health. I almost had a gambler's like addiction to the game. I once played for 16 straight hours at the Himlins... only winning 76 times (that wasn't good). I once was busted playing Street Fighter with David instead of going to school... and once, me and my guitar player almost ruined a recording session with Steve Vai's recording engineer by playing Street Fighter 2 for 10-12 hours before studio time... a session I barely lost to JR Horn 100-98. It was Vega vs. Zangief... the session ended as JR's dad woke up, found us in the living room and said, "YOU'VE BEEN UP ALL NIGHT! YOU GUYS ARE GONNA SUCK IN THE STUDIO!" He was wrong, we kicked sonic ass. But it was still crazy to do that. Eventually, using old Street Fighter 2 tactics, I ascended to be 69th in the world on Xbox live only using Zangief... and even recently won a tournament at a local video game shop... earning me a cool $10 in store credit. So yeah... it wasn't a waste of time.

So you can see I'm passionate about SF2. Getting back to the Mortal Kombat debate, I bragged that on this fellow pro wrestler's facebook page that I could name 10 reasons SF2 ruled over MK, and he dared me to do it. I did. He never rebutted, which either means I got him, bored him, or won. Anyways... here are 10 reasons that Street Fighter is better than Mortal Kombat.

 #1- Before MMA, there was Street Fighter. You got to see Muy Thai vs. Wrestling, Karate vs. Boxing etc. Before UFC 1... you had to rely on bad Jean Claude Van Dame movies to scratch that "What if?" martial art itch

#2- Everyone in MK is the same size. In Street Fighter, you have fat, skinny, short, tall and medium sized players... making it more realistic and presenting more varied gameplay strategies.

#3- Combo system. Even though it was created by accident, the unblockable combo system is an awesome way to jack someone up... you had to spend time to perfect the combos... and once you did... you were the man and were rewarded by taking a huge chunk of opponent Health

#4- Zangief- Introduction of the first grapple based fighter in video game history.

#5- Cast of characters- 3 to 4 of the main characters in MK look the same except for color changes. In SF2, you get to pick from gay kick boxers to gay matadors... and all points in between. Hell... you even get a tranny!

#6- Suspension of disbelief. If I rip out your spine and kill you, or destroy your testicles... and you pop back up for next match in perfect health... what have we done except waste time? Was the previous match imagined? dreamed? In Mortal Kombat it is kill or be killed: one match and you're done. A big series makes no sense. You can imagine the SF characters fighting for hours... because its a like a sport.

#7- Nation pride- It's also like the Olympics! Americans vs. Japanese, Brazilians vs. Thai, etc etc etc. Except now you dont have to watch boring crap like people running, fatties throwing heavy balls or pistol shooting to get your patriotic jollies off

#8- Special Move Categories- Your favorite characters typically fall into special move categories... like charge/ combo/ 360/ technical, or some sort of hybrid. This made the gameplay more personal and varied. For example, I'm great at 360 grapple characters but I cant play a charge character worth a DAM. In Mortal Kombat, most character's special moves inputs are similar to each other.

#9- Enough with the MK Uppercuts... really

#10- SF characters play well with others- Tekken, Capcom, Superheros, cartoons... whatever the case, you can throw a Ryu and a Chun Li and a Guile in a universe with whoever and you dont have to worry that someone is going to decapitate that little blonde girl with the mop bucket.

Anyways... those are my opinions. What do you guys think? Send me a message on FB and tell me off! I'm used to it! Vinnie Vineyard - Funkmaster V

Monday, November 16, 2015


It's been awhile since I have checked in on FunkmasterV.com, kids... but all is well. I have been spending a lot of time driving taxi cabs, developing a new business, acting, and helping in creating the Great American Wrestling product that airs on Fox 43, WTNZ, in Knoxville TN. And because of my schedule, Luke and I have taken a break from the podcast "God Makes Beautiful Things." It is  a "REAL MUTHA FOR YA"... but hey... it's collateral damage for the greater good. We WILL back...

But mainly, I have been editing, producing, and co-writing the Great American Wrestling show. If you are in the Knoxville area on Dec 11th... it would be funky clean and cool if you swung by and enjoyed the live show!

Other than that, life has been a little un-funky (TOO BUSY). I am starting voice acting work on a cartoon, and I have about three acting jobs that will be popping up on TV soon: a Snapped where I play Phil Hartman's make up artist, me playing a wrestler on Billy Ray Cyrus's "Still the King", and I play an inmate on "Murder Comes to Town".

Oh... and Travis Sawyer... I have a little something for you on the side over here. Watch Fox 43 Saturday's at high noon for more details.

Thursday, September 10, 2015

GAW TV News~ Wrestling With Wregret Sketch

The little ole TV show that could released some exciting ratings this week. All the funk brothers and sisters rejoice! My segment, the "Mothership w/ Funkmaster V" pulled the highest ratings of the show with a 1.2. That means 17 billion people saw the segment... I think... Anyways, numbers schnumbers... come out on the 18th for the next TV Tapings and have yourself a funk-a-licious time.

Also, the podcast that I do with Big Luke Walker "God Makes Beautiful" churned out another exciting episode this week. Click the link below to be tickled by political insight on Kim Davis, we capture footage of a menacing luchador that has taken the city hostage, and we start a new segment called "It Came From East Tennessee"... where we showcase really crappy wrestling promos and matches. This one will be tough to top. Remember folks, the podcast is not intended for children.


I gotta tell you, this is an awesome wrestlling Youtube channel if there ever was one. Luke Walker, RaeAnn Danger, and that major league a-hole Funkmaster V make an energetic cameo in this sketch... but even they cannot outshine who shows up in the surprise ending! Thanks Brian Zane Schiedel for the rub- it was fun!

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Great American Wrestling

August 29th Fox 43 will start airing "Great American Wrestling" at 12 noon. The show will be filled with interesting characters like Menace, King Shane, Big Luke, the Death Row Inmates, Jocephus Brody and many more... like in this clip: Funkmaster V, Nina Monet, Debbi Danger...

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Events for THA week!

Eat these vids and support yocal wrestlings.



Monday, July 20, 2015

Summer of Funk Continues

Last week I fell short in my claim in the Great American Battle Royal for the Title, but hell kids... I was in the ring with Menace, the King Shane Williams, and the eventual champion Arrick Andrews. We did film my new interview segment "The Mothership w/ Funkmaster V", where I debuted some beautiful and talented funkettes to the Knoxville area: Debbi Danger and the PYT. On my show, I get to gong wrestlers who bore me. THE POWER WILL GO TO MY HEAD!!!

Debbi Danger and I also got to shoot some photos with old pets that need a home. We were happy to be apart of the Wrestlers vs. Young Williams Animal Shelter photo shoot. I will soon be uploading pics of Funkmaster V, Debbi Danger... and our "Atomic Dog" Joan. Yes... there is a dog named Joan.

This week, I popped up on the Internet Movie Database. Yes... that IS awesome. I hope I get a role in the Walking Dead now. I've been practicing my Georgia voice... that scratchy, breathy, "I need water" parched throat voice. I will be awesome.

God Makes Beautiful Things made it's debut on www.1gimmickworld.com, a family of podcasts ran by WWE's Big Vito and Micheal Vee. Episode #9 featured a famous voice over actor...

Also, on the 30th I'm taking on an old rival in Wartburg: The Cadillac Cowboy. Check out this stacked card.

OH! and one more thing................ I updated my results page and media page. See ya on the flip!!!

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

The Mothership Lands Back in Knoxville

Tell ya ma and your pa, the Mothership is landing in North Knoxville, ya'll...

Friday, June 12, 2015

#1 Contender Time

Lots of stuff going on in the world of Funkmaster V's friends and family: Music videos, taxi cab confessions, losing money, having fun, making money, spotting witches... you know, the norm. But today I have a moment to reflect on and promote some wrestling type jive.

God Makes Beautiful Things #7 (The Other One and Only)

Seems like it took three weeks to make, but finally Big Luke leads the charge as he and Funkmaster V delve into another dumpster fire... a local guy, calling himself "The One and Only" cuts a promo while driving his car. The guys discuss promo, entrance, and booking psychology... as well as they discuss drunk taxi passengers that dumped beer on Funkmaster V's wife. Also: Funkmaster V and the Funkmaster V's music video "Time to Rise". Part of the Offshoots family of podcast

#1 Contender's Match

Saturday Night is Alright for Fightin'
Funkmaster Vvs. Mick O'Malley

I have battled this Irishman a few times now and it seems like he is pretty evenly matched with me. I will tell you  this, who becomes the number one contender for the SAW Championship will come down to whether or not I can use the Funky Figure Four to slow him down enough to handle his entourage of potato eaters that is always lurking ringside. I hope I get a chance to get my hands on Shane and end his year long undefeated streak after my potential victory... but if the title drops to Travis Sawyer at this event, so be it. That will be the first time I face Travis in a singles match... and it will be for the SAW Championship. Whoa. Easy... easy... that match is potentially one month from my babalones.

Dusty Finish

The passing of Dusty Rhodes is really screwing me up. I wonder if I'm so sad because he probably is the first of the 80's NWA mega superstars to go. An icon from my favorite and most nostalgic period of the sport I love is gone... Never to entertain us again. I felt oddly connected to him, probably because there are not too many white southern jive talking wrestlers around. Warren Peace​ used to call me EGO PRO's Dusty... And now that has an even more special meaning to me. Hope you all are handling this better than me. You will be missed, American Dream. 

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

WFUNK's Two for Tueday

Just like your cheesy hometown radio station, WFUNK is kicking out "Two for Tuesday". Choice selection number one is a music video that was shot by Fembot 2001 for an old song from the mind of Funkmaster V... "Time to Rise". The video portrays a dystopian future where nomadic Evil Music Suckas will be destroyed by musical overlord Funkmaster V if the populace refuses to "Believe in the Funk." This video stars Gretchen Vineyard, Funkmaster V on bass, JR Horn on guitar, Brian "Wooly Bully" Smith on drums, robots, and various nomads. So here you go...
Funkmaster V & the Funkmaster V "Time to Rise"

Choice selection number two is episode 6 from God Makes Beautiful Things. This podcast features an energetic Big Luke Walker and a sick Funkmaster V as they run down the essential topics: strippers, touchy wrestlers, Game of Thrones nudity and more. The main points of interest in this show however, are the fellas opinions on "shooting" in a wrestling ring, and the boys expose one of the admin's hidden identities behind the controversial "Trash Bag Wrestlers" webpage.
God Makes Beautiful Things #6 (Spuds Equals Duds)

"God Makes Beautiful Things" is also available through an audio only/ mobile friendly version on the Offshoots Network Podcasts. http://theoffshoots.podbean.com/

Saturday, May 16, 2015

Funkmaster V's Undefeated Streak of His Own!

Since Funkmaster V has been back on a mission to stop Shane Daniel's undefeated streak, Funk has amassed some impressive wins and has got a little win streak of his own: Daniel Mulligan, Demetrya, Josh Turner, Mick O'Malley, Cody Raines and most recently Shawn Rage have been derailed by the Funk Train. Check him out coming up at ETCW, SAW, and EGO-PRO has he tries to make history!

Here is the match that some say was an upset: Funkmaster V and Shawn Rage. Here Funkmaster uses the Funky Figure Four to win another match... this time indirectly. 

Monday, May 4, 2015

Tough Enough Audition!

Watch this and ask yourself if "The Black Panther" Funkmaster V is Tough Enough for the WWE. Then buy yourself a nice, little something... from us to you.

Two Matches this weekend! Let me say it again... YOU WILL RUN!!!! TELL EVERYONE!!!!

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

The Worst Match in History

(Worst Match in History Edition)

Big Luke Walker and Funkmaster V breakdown the match from East Tennessee that exploded to over 30,000 Youtube views in a few hours: Aj Gann vs. Chris Pankow. Many sites may do shows about this match, but Funkmaster V provides some special AJ Gann insight. Funk shares some hilarious AJ Gann stories, the worst match ever is shown, Luke shares his WWF Totally Enough Divas Audition Tapes. Sponsor: Funkmaster V's Gigantic Tubes of Cheese

Also, the mobile/ podcast version is available on the Offshoots Podcast Network

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Funkmaster V vs. Marble City Comicon

Did you tricks now that Funkmaster V was going to be here on Saturday from 11-2ish???? It's true. Come say hello and stroke the fur. Also, buy a Pop Art doll from Mike Hermann

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Upcoming Funk Matches & More

Funkmaster V declared his return to wrestling at the last SAW show, with his sights set on Shane Daniels and ending that winning streak. Plus, Funk would like to add the SAW Heavyweight Championship to his bulbous trophy case. The gauntlet has been thrown down!

As a couple of warm ups, Funkmaster V will be returning to the ring at ETCW against an old foe, Demetrya. These two have won Rivalry of the Year awards and Match of the Year awards against each other before. Between the man of Funk and the Man/Woman of Ambiguity... it should be a spectacle to watch.


There will also be an announcement for Funkmaster V's warm up for Shane at Severe Attitude Wrestling. In the meantime, sink your teeth into God Makes Beautiful Things Episode 2. Discussed: Lesbians, God, CM Punk's real hometown, East Tennessee wrestling, and beyond.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Everyone has a Podcast... and Now I do Too...

Luke Walker and Funkmaster V take you on a phantasmal ride, some wrestling, some politics, sex, video games, humor... but all in all, pure awesomeness!
Episode One
The newest Podcast from The Offshoots with the hosts Luke Walker and Funkmaster V... they discuss the upcoming Severe Attitude Wrestling show on April 11th, why Funkmaster V took a break, Austin's response to the fans for failing that drug test, Shane Daniels' streak, Dante HP's High Risk Challenge, why Steven Cadillac Burns may be the next big thing and which wrestlers in East Tennessee are gay. Tune in... it might be you.
Two Ways Two Listen
Not only can you listen to the podcast on the Offshoots network based out of Texas, which means you can listen to it on mobile devices and iTunes and the like, you can watch out the shows on Youtube, sometimes featuring exclusive video content, matches, etc. Hop on the funk train and let's get it on...............

The Offshoots Podcast Version: 
The Youtube Version:

Wednesday, April 1, 2015


I took a break from wrestling to re-evaluate a few things and like the dam mob, they got their meathooks into me and they are dragging me back in. Apparently, Severe Attitude Wrestling has themselves a touch of cancer.... Champion Shane Daniels. Shane has been a wrecking ball in the past... destroying almost anything he comes in contact with: TXW, SAW, the stable Detroit Funk City, Maskerade's flaming back, ring ropes, title reign records, and undefeated streaks. Needless to say, Shane is all about Shane.... I am all about love, big legged women, and the FUNK. Here is my message for Mr. Pee in My Cheerios himself. I have a surprise for ole boy!!!

Friday, March 6, 2015

I play Phil Hartman's Make-up Artist for cash

It's true.... 
Keep an eye out for me as appearing as Phil Hartman's make-up on the Oxygen channel's hit show... SNAPPED. But for now, let me entertain you with old wrestling funk promos. 

Funk Flashback Fridays
"On the Mothership, all officers of the court are children."
Hovering above the earth on a cold Christmas Eve night, Funkmaster V is tried for his crime of "fakin tha funk" by the Mothership's High Court. He could stan...

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Funky Graphic February!

Apparently if you wanna make $$$, put Funkmaster V on a poster...
Tomorrow NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ETCW Heavyweight Championship on the line!!!!!!!!!!!
I heard Luke Walker​ has a big announcement about this match!

Also check out the Media Page for new links to multimedia funkiness and the Results page has been updated for your funk azz az well.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

"OFFSHOOTS" Wrestling Podcast

Funkmaster V & Luke Walker talk about Severe Attitude Wrestling, Independent Wrestling and other jive. (Watch out for LANGUAGE THAT MAY OFFEND)


If you like the three "F's":
Funk, F-bombs, and Fine Radio Boobs ---- this is the Podcast Broadcast fo' yo ass

Friday, January 23, 2015

Funkmaster is a Murder Suspect and a Velvety Voice This Weekend

Ole' Funkmaster is playing a diabolical son-of-a son-of-a on the upcoming episode of "Murder Comes to Town".

Investigation Discovery's Murder Comes to TownSeason 2 Episode  5 - Premiers Monday Jan 26th at 10pm EST
 "He'd Do it Again" 


"Tucked along Washington's Willapa Bay, the sleepy city of South Bend is the kind of small town where not only does everyone know their neighbor’s name, but their entire family tree. But when the well-liked South Bend native, Tim Moore, seemingly vanishes one cold November night, residents begin to realize they may not know the folks next door as well as they thought."

Investigation Discovery can be found in Knoxville area on:

Channel 111 - Comcast
Channel 285 - DIRECTTV
Channel 113 - Charter
Channel 192 - DISH

The New Severe Attitude Wrestling
Jan 24th- Boys And Girls Club Maryville TN 7PM
 Check this link and come watch some of the best wrestling in East Tennessee. Luke Walker and I will be laying down the commentary to educate the masses and making all the women swoon.


Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Bruno Mars on Ellen Singing His Song About Us.

My man Bruno Mars was on Ellen just now singing his song he wrote for my cab company. He did awesome. As he says... "We'll come and get ya..."