Saturday, May 10, 2014

"Bad Christian Movies Are Not Dead"

From the desk of the Mothership-

Last night I pissed off Austin Knight fans by defeating him with the FUNK. Ten minutes ago, I just pissed my wife off. So I guess it's fair for me to piss everyone else off right now. 

I have problems with most "Christian" everything in our society- and I realize that's my problem... but, churches, music, Republicans, T-shirts, yada... yada. So, not surprisingly, the title of the movie "God is Not Dead" rubbed me the wrong way from the get go. Like... insult my intelligence kind of bad. If that movie meant something to you- wonderful... stop reading the rest of this post-PLEASE... Im in a mood to preach and you will not like me anymore if you keep reading. 

Something about the tone of this movie feels like Christians are getting into a NA NA NA NA BOO BOO fight with everyone else. Christians know that God is not dead... it's a dumb idea to begin with- he either was or wasn't.... he didn't die of a stroke or choked on a chicken bone. Also, society's need or lack of need for him doesn't pertain to whether he exists or doesn't exist. 

SURPRISE! Atheists are not going to be swayed by a Christian propaganda movie, especially one this stupid. Here's the thing about Atheists and Agnostics... most of them are REALLY smart. Instead of being something useful, this movie seems like its another US vs. THEM type thing. Let's stick our chest out and get three sheets to the wind crazy with Glenn Beck kinda thing. Politics, religion, racism, classism, stupidity... so many devices to divide already exist. As Christians were are supposed to be the salve of the world, not a battle axe. 

I hear people all the time say stupid shit like "WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE SEPARATE FROM THE WORLD- YOU ARE ACTING LIKE THE WORLD!!!!" and they usually use that adage when a fellow Christian friend gets a tattoo, gets her hair to look like Snookie's or buys a Lil' Wayne CD. What I think this means is that we are supposed to act like everything is going to be alright (which it is), and we need to try to help everyone on the planet who doesn't feel this way. Let's educate ourselves...heal the world... embrace Hebrews 6:1-3 and realize that if you have a relationship with Christ that you are not limited in your spiritual learning and through him- you can move mountains.... but first you have to free your mind... Holy crap... freedom in Christ is terrific. Unchain yourself and see how great life can be and how powerful your life can be if you let God flow through you. 

Let's be examples to the world... not whiny little jerk faces. "You mean professor! God is Not DEAD!" - smh We all have had friends that lost their faith because they took Philosophy 101 and they were like... wait a minute, a billion Indians believe hamburgers are sacred animals.... I guess Jesus was just a really cool hippie then..." First time dealing with college elitists? I want to kick the guy behind this movie in the crotch and say- "My toe kick to your crotch is not dead! Do You agree?"

Love,
Funkmaster V

(The opinions of Funkmaster V and his employes do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of the FUNK)

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