Well, since I was just minding my own business talking this jive and that jive about my rasslin' life on Facebook, ole Dwayne Windham horned in about how he needed a rematch for the coveted Funk-strap. Well, on www.funkmasterv.com today, we will be celebrating Dwayne Windham Dude Dress all day long. Let's take a walk down Dude Dress memory lane, shall we???
Dwayne and I have always had a hot-cold relationship. My last pinfall/ submission loss was in the summer of 2010, when Bob O Mac needed a top rope Bob-O-Matic to put old Funky away in our infamous cage match. (This was the first match that anyone has ever kicked out of the Bob-O-Matic, by the way.) After the match, Warren Peace, Demon, Shane Daniels and yes, Dwayne Windham kicked me out of my own stable: Detroit Funk City and renamed it Creatures of the Night. Here, they sadly kick my friend Reverend Jay Perkey in the peni.
Dwayne temporarily had the upper hand on me again because he was able to snatch a briefcase in the TXW Scramble for the Gold 2 match. Oh yes.... he was happy. But when they opened up the briefcase, we all smiled for it was a booby prize. Dwayne Windham had to be someone's valet for a month... and luckily, TXW Commissioner David Branson had the love of Jesus in his heart and let the boy be my valet for a month, and the cavalcade of excitement continued as he had to do my every bidding or face being fired from TXW.
Barry Allen told me to make him wear a dress... so I did
Then, I charged naive children $5 to kiss him b/c they thought he was Justin Bieber
Then, I made him work on my uncle's farm
And then I cooled it after I shot him out of a cannon
He then accompanied me to the ring, dressed as me, as I took on Spoony Mack. Well, he cheated and attacked Spoony, costing me an important win in the rankings via a DQ loss. This lead to our Loser Eats Dog Food match at the Halloween show. I pinned him after landing the 10,000 Watts of Funk, but the Creatures of the Night showed up and shoved Dog Food down my throat anyways, cause they hate rules. Alpo tastes like rear-end, by the way. How do dogs go from eating steak to that crap? Anyways...
This lead to the Christmas Chaos Chain on a Pole Main Event, which ended our feud at TXW. Spoiler alert- Funk Fans walked away smiling...
But a few months later, EGO PRO promoter Barry Allen decided to put the members of DFC in a unique tag match. If Shane Daniels, the EGO PRO Champion, got pinned or submitted, would lose his belt. The Demon would lose his mask if he took the fall. A losing Funkmaster V's afro would be shaved in the ring, and if Dwayne lost, he would have to wrestle the next show in a dress. Hmmmmm..... I wonder what happened? Karma is a beach, I think I heard, once. All I know is that what comes around, goes around.
HAPPY DWAYNE WINDHAM DUDE DRESS DAY!!!
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