TXW vs. SAW - Nitro Heavyweight Championship

TXW vs. SAW.... Nitro Heavyweight Championship


April 8th 2011
It's been a wild couple of months since I concluded my rivalry with Dwayne Windham... and my revenge on the Creatures of the Night has been on hold, since Severe Attitude Wrestling has declared war on my home group, TXW. While I battle SAW's best with the likes of Demon and Shane Daniels... who are my enemies, my friend Bob O Mac has been oddly silent in the war. I wonder if he is the mole bewteen the two groups? Have they got to Bob O Mac??? I fear that if we don't a get some good leadership, TXW will be out of business by the end of summer.

Now, on a positive note, the FUNK has been brought to a few new areas on a regular basis... Tennessee Pro Wrestling in Rockwood, Knoxville Wrestling, and Nitro Heavyweight Wrestling in New Market. The last of which I have successfully defeated their long running champion, Tony Blaine, for my first Heavyweight Championship in Tennessee. Check out the sexiness below and try to contain your enthusiasm. Keep up with me on Facebook... and I will let you know where the Funk Train is headed next.

Justin Bieber: My Story

Justin Bieber: My Story


Jan 5th 2011
It's kinda funny how time flies. It only seems like yesterday when I was kicked out of Detroit Funk City after my cage match with Bob O Mac. Me taking out DFC, or Creatures of the Night, as they are called now, has taken ALOT longer than I first thought it would. Well, I'm happy to report that the first member has fallen. As of Christmas Chaos 4, Dwayne Windham will no longer be a problem. Our Chain on a Pole Match was awesome, and I got the poor boy to tap out with the chain around my kneebrace in the Funky Figure Four Grapevine. I think he is still whimpering.

The TXW Owners and brass have asked Barry and I to tag team up against Street Dreams in what they are calling an "Olive Branch Match" to keep the peace between S.A.W. and TXW. This is another problem that the Creatures have started that I am sweeping up after. Whatever, I will do what I am told.... but I would much rather get my hands on Shane Daniels at this point. The Demon... I am saving for last.

On some positive FUNK news, I won 2 year end fan voting awards at EGO-PRO, I am up for a handful at TXW, and I am currently ranked in the Pro Wrestling Illustrated mag on the stands out now. I am debuting at TPW in Rockwood's National Guard Armory on Jan 8th against the 7 foot tall Pyscho Ward, and I have a Heavyweight Title Shot at Nitro Wrestling in Knoxville. Looks like 2011 is shaping up to be a good year for the old Funky One, especially if the Jets win the Super Bowl. So why don't you enjoy a song and recap of Dwayne and Funkmaster's feud below:

Reading Rainbow

Reading Rainbow Sept 15th 2010 TXW and United Way have been involved in raising awareness to all of the peeps out there that have children in school that education expectations are getting tougher in Tennessee. United Way is heading the charge, and here is a little video featuring your favorite Funk-Man that explains this mission so that your kids won't be left behind and someday spit in my food at the drive thru.

New Beginnings

New Beginnings July 19th 2010 Well, this whole "Everybody Liking Me and Smiling When they See Me Thing" is hard to get used too. On July 3rd, I was walking back to the locker room in front of 500 fans, escorting Bob O Mac, who just defeated my old partner Dwayne Windham for the TXW Youtube TV Title, and children were hugging me and hot women were taking pictures of me and Bob.... and I was thinking, "This is what it was like in a parallel universe." I'm not sure how it happened, but I can thank Detroit Funk City, oh sorry... they changed it to: The Creatures of the Night (geez- how lame can you get)... for their contribution to my new found popularity. Heck, even today I'm shooting a commercial for United Way about education awareness! Do you mean to tell me that not using a chain was all it took for all of this positive reinforcement? In all seriousness, I am sorry to all of the fans for what I have done in the past. Breaking the rules, taking the easy way out and screwing over people that trained hard is just desperate things people do to stay on top... and in the end, no one respects you for it. So... no more weapons, no more double and triple teams... from now on, its Funkmaster V the wrestler you will see... and if I'm not going to be good enough to not cheat and win, then I guess I will lose. Which heck! Seems like that's what I'm good at doing now. I need your help if I'm going to reverse this losing streak!!!

Annabel Lee

Annabel Lee May 25th 2010 Not much to say right now, besides I am pretty numb. I didn't realize that the girl I was using to annoy Bob O Mac with would actually affect me this badly. Beth just won me over - I can't shake this feeling of loss. My wife thinks I'm crazy, but I just scream at her until she goes to her bedroom and starts drinking heavily. Lately I have been showing up at matches with the only two things that make me feel OK... my flannel robe and a picture of Baby Beth.. that I stole from her house. Beisdes almost killing Maskerade in the most violent match that has ever taken place, winning the EGO-PRO Tag Team Championships in their 8 team tournament, my on-air TV feud with Dave Jones, and getting ready for my Main Event cage match with Bob O Mac.... nothing much is happening.......... Ho-Hum.................

2010's Reasonable Goals

Funk You Can Believe in April 7th 2010 It's been awhile since I have updated the website, and it looks like the Gathering has hacked it and deleted my last update. No matter. 2010 will be my year, I have lots of goals... but I want to recap for the slow-witted Funk Nation fans. Since my last post Detroit Funk City has become a massive force in TXW: Shane Daniels has had back to back main events, Dwayne cleverly won the TXW Youtube TV Title, and me and the Demon continue to rock your dumb faces. Currently, we are all ranked in the TXW top ten according to Inside Wrestling Magazine. Beth is 2-0 as a wrestler, to boot! Lot's have happened in the last few months, that's for sure: the discovery of the Yellow Blood Mist, Beth's deepening true feelings for me, the TV show-TXW Main Event continues to rule, Detroit Funk City being accused of the disappearance of Chris Cameron, we successfully split up the Bob Squad, and the Gathering has been humilated repeatedly by our hands. Pretty good stuff. Here's my goals in 2010: FUNKMASTER'S REASONABLE GOALS: 2010 1) Start a rock-funk band with the Demon. Lots of pretty girls (dont tell Beth), cash, and the right to demand things at concerts like 698 red M&M's in a bowl. Then you have the right to lose your crap when they get it wrong. 2) Eliminate the smelly, weird, ugly Gathering from TXW. We need to hurry... just when they are on the ropes, Trojanman shows back up. Too many gross people! Ick!!! 3) Win the Ego-Pro Heavyweight Title. I'm in the Ego-Pro 16 man tournament this Saturday. Here comes the Funk Train! 4) Get my own show on NBC. I can't wait till I have a meltdown off air that gets passed around on Youtube where trolls can call me "loose cannon" and "abusive" and "probably even hotter in person!!!" 5) Marry Beth and start having Funk-Spirit babies so they can win American Idol one day. I dunno how I'll get this done with my wife's constant nay-saying.... "Your responsibilty is to us!" "You need to play with your children!" "Take your meds! It's been 6 days!"... BLAH BLAH BLAH - Women, right? 6) TXW Heavyweight Championship. I just gotta wait until Travis isn't the champ... I think my body is allergic to fighting him. 7) Start my own brand of Salsa. Paul Newman did this. He sent the proceeds to charity. My proceeds will go to paying my back child support payments... 8) Beat AJ Gann just one time...