Celebrating the end of 2016 with a Contest!!!

2016 sucks, so to celebrate its passing, we are gonna have a Funkmaster V game for prizes. You can win a T-shirt, DVDs, CDs, and Smart Paranormal swag. All you have to do is have to vote by using the following emojis here and then like the SmartParanormalTV page and/ or the Funkmaster V's Uptown Cabs of Renown page on FB. The competition ends tomorrow at midnight. Have fun!!! (If you like both Facebook pages already... all you have to do is vote)

Go to my Facebook page to vote and win!
https://www.facebook.com/funkmasterv

OK. You were right, 2016 sucked

Since the last post, the Gatlinburg fires happened. And if you did not know, it can be described by a hundred different adjectives: scary, tense, heartbreaking, overpowering... etc. My tag team partner and TV co-host Big Luke Walker and I reported what we saw happening to our city when no one else could or would, and we got national attention for it. I was going to write a big long post about it, but I'm exhausted and decided to sum it up in a year end type video. Enjoy...

 

Go to "Media" to check out World Wide Gloss From the Last Part of 2016

 

Dec 14th 2016 - LA City Cab.com- "Taxi Driver Drives Through The Night To Save People"

 

Dec 2016- Morgan County News- Wild Wrestlin' Action

 

Dec 2016 - WBIR - Pro Wrestling Taxi Driver Saves Lives With Free Rides

 

Nov 29 2016 - Maryville Daily Times- " Scenes From Firestorm: Cab driver recalls a harrowing night as Gatlinburg burns"

 

Nov 2016- "Wrestling With Ghosts" on ZTALK Radio with Jay Lynch

 

Nov 2016- Funkmaster V on Porcupine PAC Gary Johnson Video

 

Oct 2016 - WBIR - "Ghost Hunters Explore Mysterious Mansion"

 

Oct 2016 - The Herald - "Sevierville Based Group Produces Spooky Show"

 

Oct 2016- The Mountain Press- "Ghostly Show Films at Greenbriar"

 

July 2009- Knoxville News Sentinel - "Funkmaster V Switches Moves Once More"

 

 

November to Remember

This is a slightly lighter month for me... although that could change. Stay on top of the Funk Train to catch me or one of my teams "live".

***Nov 2- Catch Funkmaster V's closing argument from "The Not so Great Debate 3" from Vito Thomaselli and www.1gimmickworld.com

***Nov 2- Funkmaster V is "Drug Buyer" on Homicide Hunter's episode 611. I do all the pool shots and ate quinoa for the first time in my life at catering

 

 

***Nov 5- Funkmaster V will be featured in a Nationwide "Why I Will Vote For Gary Johnson" Video.

***Nov 7- "Wrestling with Ghosts" is on international radio! We will be interviewed by Jay Lynch from ZTalk Radio Network

***Nov 18- Big N Funky vs. the Southern Bad Boys at KFW Pigeon Forge, TN

Keep an eye out for us and like SMARTParanormal on Facebook... and also Vinnie Vineyard (Funkmaster V)

The Funk is Keen on Halloween

More big stuff added to the Wrestling With Ghosts Team's schedule!!!

 - 10/6 - Story on us for WBIR 10 News in Knoxville as we take their reporters around for some Halloween Paranormal fun.
- 10/7 - Black Harvest for KFW, River Park Plantation Resort in Sevierville. Big and Funky are set to continue the Slap The Souff In The Mouff Tour.
- 10/9 - Big Luke set to beat up some hillbillies for Great American Wrestling at the Fountainhead College of Technology. Special appearance by Funkmaster V and Justin Richards.
- 10/10 - recording the inaugural Wrestling With Ghosts Podcast
- 10/11 - The team is back on the news for FOX43
- 10/12 - Fundraiser Investigation for the Humane Society where you can join us on a Ghost Hunt and Beth's Birthday!!!. Location to be announced very soon.
- 10/22 - EGO PRO Wresting in Athens TN as apparently some more Hillbillies want to try us.
What, you thought we were playing? This isn't even the HUGE announcement we can't tell you about.

Upcoming Funk Schedule...

There's some exciting things popping up around the whirled O funk... but much of it has to do with the pArAnOrMaL..... ooooooooh spooooooky.

Here's the intro to our swag pilot TV show... enjoy holmes!!!

 

 



Upcoming Funkmaster V appearances:

 Sep 17- EGO PRO 11th Anniversary, Athens TN
Sep 31- CPW "Some Bear Slam" Pontiac MI
Oct 1st- National Ghost Hunt Day, Destination America
Oct 2nd- WOZO FM 8PM, Knoxville TN...
Oct 7th- Surprise Surprise, ???
Nov 5th- TXW Wrestling, Knoxville TN

More to come...

Funkmaster V on Jagger's Joint

I was honored to be on Jagger's Joint last Wednesday. I was promoting so much ballyhoo last week I feel like I neglected this awesome dude and his show. We talked about all sorts of jive and eventually, the ghost of Ron Wright attacked the show and destroyed the tape. Don't mess with the legends... baby.

 

 

 

Wrestlefest 7 Promo 4: Game of Thrones: A Song of Big and Funky

In their last promo against the yucky North, Big Luke and Funkmaster V channel some old magic to possibly conjure up an official bout against a Chicago based tag team. The Souff is coming.

 

Wrestlefest 7 Promo 3: Calling Out the Yankees

In the third Wrestlefest 7 promo from Big N Funky, Luke starts getting personal... calling out Chicago tag teams by name. Then............ nature..............

 

Wrestlefest 7 Promo 2: Da Souff is Better in Every Way

In their second Wrestlefest 7 promo, Big N Funky compare the Souff to the North with varying results in an attempt to get a team to accept their open challenge.

 





Wrestlefest 7 Promo 1: Up From Da' Souff

Big and Funky prepare to go to Chicago to prove to the Yankees that sit around and burp all day and cry about the Bears that Southern wrestling is king.
 

Game of Thrones: A song of Big and Funky

Check out Big and Funky's Game of Thrones inspired mini movie:

In their 4th attempt, Southern tag team Big and Funky are demanding a match with the Northern tag team hot shots from the Chicago area. Inspired by old magic, can Big and Funky conjure up a challenger that will test their Southern mettle? Pro Wrestling Blitz: Wrestlefest 7  August 13th: Brooklyn Brawler, Lita, DDP, Sandman, Boogeyman, Big and Funky & many more

Funkmaster V on that Mid-Day Show

The magical podcast God makes Beautiful Things is in the can, so be on the look out for that, babies. Also, if you are in the Knoxville area, check me out as I land the Mothership on top of 103.9 FM between the legal spaceship parking hours of 1-3, as I funktify Christopher and the rest of the Mid-Day Show crew as I preach funk, love, and libertarian politics.

Front Page Funk

Looks like my story about accidentally obtaining the lost Hulk Hogan championship is making a little press. You can see the story online if you check out www.themountainpress.com, or... drive yo azz to Sevier County Tennessee and buy one!

God Makes Beautiful Things (What Makes Cops Tick?)

Well... that episode of "God Makes Beautiful Things" was pretty damn powerful. Not a lot of jokes... but you get two white guys talking about this impending race war, and then a BUNCH of harrowing cop stories. If I could give this episode a radio emmy, I would. But Luke will have to settle for a trophy full of Steak-Ums because there are no such things as radio-Emmys. An hour you will not forget.

Luke Walker and Vinnie Vineyard return with another edition of God Makes Beautiful Things

God Makes Beautiful Things - What Makes Cops Tick?

...

theoffshoots.podbean.com|By PodBean Development

How Funkmaster V Stole Hulk Hogan's Missing Championship Belt.

The two most prestigious wrestling titles in American history
(That I own... besides maybe the YouTube Belt)

I love entertaining people. It's what I do. From radio, to stand-up comedy, to touring as a professional musician, acting and beyond, I have made my livelihood... for most of my life, by entertaining people. I liked every creative avenue... but... I get bored easily. I like to conquer things and then move on. It's a curse. But then... there was pro wrestling. I can't explain why, but this was the one creative outlet that sated my entertainment appetite holistically. It has also been the hardest for me to master... because I haven't mastered it yet... and I'm not even close. I never will be close. As my body ages, I know my in ring career has seen its better days. Even today, as I curled a 45 lb. dumbbell, my right knee popped, making me almost collapse to the floor. My first thought was... five years from now I would have head butted the secretary next to me (it's a type of desk, not a mini skirt wearing, note taker).

I like wrestling because I can grab my boobs

aggressively at a real life drag queen and get
paid to do it 

Pro wrestling in my area is in a lull. Most of my friends are either too old to wrestle, decided to move on to new things, or have been ostracized by pro wrestling's politics and are reduced to wrestling at campgrounds and ball fields in the direct sun in front of 45 people. Angles, promos, vignettes, memorable events, rivalries, and the mass appeal of the local sport seems to be all but a waning memory nowadays... with very few exceptions. So as I have been taking a calculated rest, only accepting out of state bookings that make fiscal sense, I have been looking back nostalgically at my experiences in the sport. One thing in particular that I have often took for granted: How the hell do I have Hulk Hogan's missing title sitting on my bookshelf?

In 2013, I received a phone call from a casual friend. He, himself, was an odd fixture in the sport of wrestling. He was definitely a smart guy and very friendly, and he always seemed to be in the middle of very interesting drama. We both knew a fellow wrestling personality, one that almost everyone despised. A name many people recognize in East Tennessee: Terry Landell.

You see... Terry Landell, for better or worse, has been the one constant in East Tennessee wrestling since the glory days of Ron and Don Wright, Whitey Caldwell, and then later Southeastern and Continental faded away. And after being in this sport for almost ten years, I have realized that Terry is as much of a genius as he is a complete moron. Giving Terry any sort of credit is almost blasphemy with the boys around here. You see, between his painfully, unintentionally hilarious call in shows... where he squints and struggles to see what is going on his cellphone on live TV, and where almost seemingly out of boredom, he stands up and nonsensically yells “WHO'S YOUR DADDY??”, and the fact that he runs shows in abandoned parking lots and dumps, he has become a joke, and in my opinion, hurt the sport in the eyes of potential fans. He even changed his name to get himself over more by pretending he was related to Nature Boy Buddy Landel. From what I understand Buddy never liked this. And like the buffoon Terry is... he even MISSPELLED the name Landell.

Funkmaster V with hot chick, hot belt
and a giant afro with Christmas lights

To win you over more, there is Terry's behavior: He also runs charity shows, like Toys for Tots, and takes the best stuff for his own personal uses. Or, he will set up across the street in a parking lot, running free matches against people trying to have a wrestling show to raise money for Junior diabetes... just to be a dick and to cost them money. But as much as we hate him, he has figured out some things about the sport that most wayfaring wrestlers never quite figure out: how to make real money. He has figured out ways to hustle bail bond companies to pay for his pretty poorly thought out wrestling shows. So, he actually earns a pretty good living at running shows. Meanwhile, most people I know are lucky to break even. Also, he understands the “Law of Celebrity”. Everyone who has ever drawn a check from the government that lives in Knoxville knows Terry Landell... and they hate him... real heat... and there is a certain power in that and he loves it. But sometimes that bites him in the butt... like this story.

How does this all apply to this belt? Here's how...

Going back to the phone call, my friend told me this: “Hey, there is this old belt a friend of mine found... and we don't know what it is. It’s pretty beat up, and it looks like there is some water damage to it. We think it's the belt that Ronnie Garvin threw off of the Henley Street Bridge... so it’s got some history to it. Terry Landell offered to pay him $250 for it, and if his cheap ass is willing to pay that much, it has to be worth a lot more.”

Intriguing, right?

My friend continued, “The guy asked me who he hated more than anyone, and that he would rather sell it to an enemy for less than to Terry himself for $250. I told him Funkmaster V.”

Now Terry and I have never met, but we both hosted really bad TV call-in shows on cable access at the same time. He would call in and prank me, or book Cowboy Bob Orton against a fake Funkmaster V on his shows... to.. I guess... slander me, but I never really did anything to him. I didn't care about Terry, I had bigger fish to fry.

Now... I'm a Yankee, so I can spot a street hustle from a mile away... but I wanted to get one over on Terry... even if there was a chance that I was the pigeon in this. I told the guy to come over and he soon would be belt-less. He did... and he was. I had this crappy looking belt in my house now for less than $250.

Mac MacMurray and the belt

from Hogan's first Knoxville

match he refereed

It was cool but I didn't know what I had. For years, I asked the old timers in the sport for their opinions on what I stumbled onto. I was told immediately that it wasn't the Ronnie Garvin bridge jumping belt. I was told several times that the belt was probably worthless. You see, wrestlers for the most part, are degenerates. Most are about making a sweaty dollar bill over being a decent person any day of the week. So I was given a lot of misinformation about the belt for years. That was until one day I reposted the belt as a joke on Facebook.

One of my associates, a belt maker, wanted to see more.

I was quickly given an education about belts. For one, as I said... most wrestlers and promoters are degenerates and that also means cheap. Championship belts were used until they totally looked like complete crap and could no longer be seen on TV... because it would look like something no one in their right mind would want, so why fight over it? So this accounts for the belt's poor condition. There were also no replica belts in the 70s. If you go to a WWE event nowadays, every kid has a belt in the stands... and they look pretty good, to be honest... but back in the 70s, this was unheard of.

See? I didn't lie! Mac, Hogan, and the belt.

So after my associate and his contemporary in the business looked at the belt, they came to the conclusion that this is the one belt that Hulk Hogan held, that has been missing for years and years: One of the Southeastern Heavyweight Championship belts based out of Knoxville, Tennessee. Surprisingly enough to the casual fan, Hogan never won many belts, especially for being the face of the sport for so long. During much of his career he was the WWF champion for years and never lost a title fight. And he officially only held two championships that were not World championships... this being one of them.

Cool right? Guess what is cooler? Kamala, Four Horseman Ole Anderson, Dennis Condrey of the Midnight Express and a cavalcade of other wrestling heroes held this belt. And who owned this Knoxville promotion (and technically the title belt) at the time? Have you ever heard of Black Jack Mulligan and Nature Boy Ric Flair???

So it looks like I got one over on my old pal Terry. I used to lie and tell everyone that the guy who found it gave this belt to me for free to spite Terry, so that it would hopefully get back to old Boobs Landell. But now that I know what I know, I am not ashamed to say that I actually paid for it.

So... as cool as owning a piece of history like this is... I am eventually going to sell the thing to someone who would appreciate it more. But it won't be for $250 and it won't be to Terry Landell. Maybe it will be you! But more than likely, I hear Japanese ebay calling... But at the end of the day, I'm glad we found this really cool piece of history and hopefully someone can enjoy it for years and years...

As for me... I'm going to go record a song about how AJ Gann's ex-wife was molested by a ghost.... and she liked it.

Here is my formerly missing Southeastern Championship Wrestling belt. (active July 79 to 1981)

Here's the Title History of this particular physical belt:

Dick Slater	1	July 1979	?
Mongolian Stomper	9	August 3, 1979	Knoxville, TN
Dick Slater	2	August 1979	?
Toru Tanaka	2	November 1979	?
Dick Slater	3	November 1979	?
Bob Roop	1	December 1979	?
Sterling Golden (Hogan)	1	December 1, 1979	Knoxville,TN
Bob Armstrong	1	January 1980	?
Killer Karl Kox	1	March 1980	?
Jos LeDuc	1	March 1980	?
Killer Karl Kox	2	March 1980	?
Ole Anderson	1	March 30, 1980
Killer Karl Kox	3	May 1980	?
Bad News Harris (Kamala)	1	May 1980	?
Terry Taylor	1	1980	Knoxville, TN
Dennis Condrey	1	1980	Knoxville, TN
Mongolian Stomper	10	October 1980	?
Ron Fuller	5	1981	?

Daughter of the Funk at Fanboy

Ive been a little lazy on promoting my stuff lately... I was on "Still the King" on CMT with Jocephus Hudson last Sunday, I had a local stand up comedy gig, and I will be wrestling in Chicago and Delaware coming up this summer. BUT! I will not be lazy about my 13 year old kid and her award-winning artwork... she will be debuting several new prints for sale at the Knoxville Fanboy at Mike Hermann's booth! Come by and buy something... she really is amazin' and will be there all three daze!!! https://www.facebook.com/events/515273115345771/

JUN24

Fanboy Expo KNOXVILLE

Jun 24 - Jun 26 · Knoxville, TN

760 people interested · 287 people going

Da Souff iz Da Best... and Number One

Can you believe these friggin' Yankees are scared of us!!! Here we show them that not only Southern Wrestling rasslin' is superior... but EVERYTHING here is superior!!!

The Funk Train Rollin' Into Chicago

Funkmaster V and Big Luke Walker are invading the North... carrying the banner of the Superior Rasslin of the Souff. PRO WRESTLING BLITZ: Wrestlefest 7: Chicago, Illinois...More info to come...

Old Marketing Trick

Seems like summer is starting off a little slow for us in the taxi industry in Sevier County... so here we rely on old school tricks to brainwash the needy: Subliminal Messages!!!

Funkmaster V in a Monster Movie

Funkmaster V will costar in the vampire film "Smoke" at the Knoxville 54 hour film festival. The premire will be: April 23rd 4pm-7pm Regal Downtown West Cinema 8 - 1640 Downtown West Blvd., Knoxville TN 37919

Funkmasta Be Rasslin'

Hello Sexies! I'm wrestling Friday in what has been becoming a more and more rare occurence. For those of you that think I have lost my edge over the last few months due to avoiding my matches with Travis Sawyer... all I will say is that you do not care about me... and it hurts. Come out Friday and I will remind you what Funking up a hillbilly looks like!

New CD on the Horizon

Gonna start the recording of the new CD next month. Vote on the name of the CD, or come up with a clever name yourself, and you can win one fo' free!!!

A) Funkmaster V & the Funkmaster V: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Funk.

B) This is Some GD Witchcraft

C) One Hawt Leg

Email suggestions to: redfistoffunk@yahoo.com

 

 

I Got No Beef With Carla...

For those who are cool enough to get the "I've got no beef with Carla" joke, I will be on "Murder Comes to Town" tonight at 8 PM on DISCOVERY ID. I will be dressed as an inmate and being all sorts of nasty. I promise this performance will put my Bill Hampton evil-rubbing-hands-together performance to shame.

The Greatest Wrestling Promo Ever!

Funkmaster V​ is all up ins the Greatest Wrestling Promo ever!!! Thanks for Vito Thomaselli​ for the platform, Johnny Butabi​ for the performance, Luke Walker​ for the belief, and Brian Zane Schiedel​ for the world wide megaphone! See? I can name drop too muthfruckas!